Quarantine Love Series: Marriage
In the Quarantine Love Series, Today we will be focusing on Marriage with Alisha Phalen, who is happily married to Benjamin for 22 years and have six children. Alisha and Benjamin together will be sharing nuggets of wisdom and grace in the marriage questionnaire of how to conduct a biblically-based marriage.
Are you ready to get married? Is marriage for everyone. Is marriage on the radar for you? Let's talk about marriage.
Do you have any children?
We have been married for 22 years this February the 27th, and we have six children (four girls and two boys).
What kind of advice can you give to a single person on the longevity of marriage?
The first thing you have to recognize is that you have to have a humble heart, you can no longer think of things a single person, and you always have to have the other person's best interest at heart. There needs to be a lot of laughter and remember why you fell in love in the first place. You have to long to keep learning about your spouse and realize no matter how long you have been married there is still more to learn.
What does a healthy biblically based marriage look like?
Always speak words of life over each other, no one is perfect, and everyone has breakdowns here and there, but the point is to come back to what the word God says. Pray together, read your word together and do everything you can do to resist the devil, so he has no other choice but to flee.
What is it like to be in an interracial marriage in the church today?
I think you have to God’s view of the whole situation, He doesn’t see color, we do however and that’s where the problem lies, it’s easy to get offended and emotional and that is where the enemy wants us to be. We choose to stay focused on the Lord!
What did you learn about yourself while in quarantine?
We learned that everyone and everything that we have is a blessing and should not be taken for granted.
Three words to describe your spouse.
For my Wife: beyond compare, creative, compassionate
For my Husband: ambitious, Loving, Hardworking
Three words to describe your marriage.
Loving, Resilient, Hot (humble, open, transparent)
What character trait do you admire most about your spouse?
My Husband is Honorable and Integrious.
My Wife is Loyal and courageous.
What is your go-to snack or junk food?
My Husband enjoys Reese’s Pieces
My Wife enjoys Trail Mix from Trader Joe’s with Dark Chocolate
What is your love language?
My Husband's is Physical Touch/Affection
My Wife's is Act of Service/Quality time
How do you put God first in your marriage?
Seeking The Lord first in everything we do.
What is your favorite Bible verse for this season?
Mark 11:23-24 - 'For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.'
Why are female friendships so important?
Friendships are important for females because iron sharpens iron, also speaking into each other’s lives can help you grow, or can help in a difficult season and you just need a friend to talk to, having that friend who can give you a right now word from the Lord, can so bless your life. Having like-minded friends in your life is Key.
What song is on repeat for you right now?
My Wife: Johnathan Butler – Falling in love with Jesus
My Husband: Bethel music – There’s No Other Name
How do you self-care and self-love yourself during quarantine?
Spending quiet time with Jesus and long baths by myself. Also, my husband pampers me.
Are you a dog person or cat person?
We like both but right now a cat has adopted our family as his own.
Who is your role model?
Jesus!!! And my Dad
What do you like to do for fun? Any hobbies?
I like to shop and put outfits together for me and my family. I also like to look for shoe deals. We like to take walks and enjoy each other and the children.
Do you think marriage is for everyone?
NO, if you are a selfish person and think the world revolves around you, marriage would only be one-sided and end up in divorce.
Benjamin and Alisha Phalen, we have been married for 22 years, we have six children and a cat (sort of). We were in children’s ministry at The Rock for 12 years, during that time we helped to plant kid’s ministry at The Rock Battle Creek, Michigan. We live in Fullerton, California.
Alisha Phalen's photos were used with permission.
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